I'm not an expert on love and relationship but this post is somehow inspired by the lessons I learned based on what my parents went through (and going through)...
My family is not perfect. We had so many ups and downs; to some extent I grew up thinking that having parents fighting each other is normal. Well, I think that's one of the reason why guidance office became my second home because of all the emotions and issues I had to face on my own, far from them. Don't get me wrong, I'm in good terms with my parents; they're cool but somehow complicated too!
If there's one major love lesson I learned from them, that is loving someone is a decision, not just a fleeting emotion...
We openly discuss all issues in the family and unlike other traditional Filipino parents, my parents are not afraid to talk about their marital woes infront of us. Well, yeah, we're cool like that but to some extent, I must admit that it also affected me. Looking back, I can say that it is one of my reasons why I venture into this blog --- the sole searching soul journey, because I thought I was searching for answers to my WHYs while I process my self when in fact I was just really avoiding what's happening in my reality.
During the 1st quarter of the year, I've been away for almost 5-6 weeks and when I went home last week, the first news that welcomed me was that they're in serious LQ mode again. And somehow, I was like "What's new?!"
I went home this Holy Week to sort some personal matters and be with family and friends. It was not my intention not to stay at home but I guess not sleeping at home for the past 2 nights and leaving my parents alone do them good; they were able to talk and somehow sort their relationship.
One of the recent moments I truly treasure was when I had a midnight snack bonding with Mama & Daddy... ❤❤❤ When they knew that I was awake, they asked me to go downstairs to eat the sandwich they prepared while we share some stories and a good laugh.
It was also the time I joked them how difficult it is to "raise parents" these days especially when they had big fight. Every year I hear them say "maghihiwalay na kami!" (We will separate!) I never get used to it so I still get affected whenever they have #LQ!
When I went home last week, I said "oh akala ko ba hiwalay na kayo?!" out of desperation. "Ang hirap magpalaki ng magulang. Ang complicated nyo!"
"Parang hindi ka na nasanay sa amin." Mama would always reply. Daddy said "magkaibigan nalang kami ng mama mo." and I was like "Bahala nga kayo!" 😶
I used to have a very fancy idea of love and relationship; like everything should be smooth and easy... Well, I guess as I mature and open my eyes (and heart) to reality, I am learning to accept that Love is never easy; some relationship will never be perfect and choosing to be in a romantic relationship will always be a Work in Progress!
"Falling in love" is given, you don't need to put a lot of effort into it. It will just happen naturally, just like gravity.
But then, "Staying and choosing to be in love"
is where you need to put a lot of your energy.
It is tough but it will be worth it.
#Love is a choice and BEING in love is a conscious DECISION you have to make every single day!
Well, I'm happy to know that my parents made their choice! Will they stick to it?! I can only hope and pray! 😂❤🙏🏼
Great Love can overcome any challenges!